Why I’m No Longer Living Life as a People Pleaser.

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Pretty much my whole life I’ve been a people pleaser, my only aim was to please other people and no really think about myself or the consequences. Now don’t get me wrong I know that putting other people first can actually be a good trait to have and shows how selfless a person truly is, but sometimes people can take advantage of this and use it to their advantage rather than for the help of others. I’ve been putting other people before myself for as long as I can remember, as like I just said there’s nothing wrong with being kind and selfless, It’s finding the balance between helping others while still helping yourself. In case you’re sat there at home confused to if you are a people pleaser here are 5 signs that you are a people pleaser:
1) You apologize ALL the time.
Ever had a stranger bump into you on the street and then apologize for it? Yeah me too, but not just once or twice literally all the time. You feel the need to apologize in certain situations so that the opposite person will still like you/ be your friend even when you know the fault isn’t yours.
2) You need praise to feel good.
In school I was always a little a bit of a teacher’s pet, I felt like I always needed praise from my teachers and parents to feel good about myself. Being competitive at a school level can be a good thing when you’re younger and you should have praise for good work/ behaviour, but once you’re in a working environment you shouldn’t feel the need to be praised all the time.
3) You will go to great lengths to avoid an argument/ conflict.
When faced with a disagreement or when you’re put into a situation that could cause conflict you will completely back down, this can often mean you won’t stand up for things you believe in or what you’re passionate about.
4) You find It hard to say no.
Even if you have a million things on your plate and someone asks you to do something that you actually don’t have the time or energy to do you will still go out of your way to do what they’ve asked because you find it near impossible to say no and feel guilty if you did.
5) You take responsibility for other peoples feelings.
You are responsible for yourself and your actions against other people, this does not mean you are responsible for how someone feels 24/7 when you have not done anything to impact their mood. By all means, if someone is upset, comfort them and help put their mind at ease, but don’t get so emotionally involved that you think it’s up to you to change their mood.

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